Welcome back, Brave Table fam, for today’s episode with Selena Soo. Selena is a Public Relations boss woman whose superpower is turning authors, coaches, and experts into leaders of their industry. She’s helped her clients and students get featured in places like The Oprah Magazine, Forbes, and Inc., plus land interviews on popular podcasts and national TV.
Born in Hong Kong to the first Asian man accepted into Oxford University, an Ivy League Graduate, and the CEO of multi-7-figure businesses, Selena is as high-achieving as they come, with plenty of stories and successes to share.
But in this conversation, Selena shares her bravest story yet; it’s the story of how a bright, educated, accomplished woman found herself in an abusive relationship, why this happens, how to get out of it, and the lessons on the other side.
What you’ll get out of this episode…
- Learning to let go of being in control and taking responsibility for everything as a high-achieving woman or CEO of a business
- How to recognize emotional abuse early on: what are the warning signs and red flags to look for
- Undoing the conditioning of saving face and keeping up appearances, particularly in Asian cultures
- Understanding the complexity of abusive relationships and how to identify when it might be happening to you
- Why it’s so important to give your pain a voice and share your story
- Why you should value internal growth and development over external achievements and rewards
- How to rise above when things start to fall apart, despite having a picture-perfect life on the outside
- How to stop people-pleasing and take your power back
In 2017, Selena felt on top of the world. Her business was flourishing with no stop in sight, she was celebrating with friends, and she met the person she thought would be her Prince Charming.
Initially, Selena wasn’t interested, but the guy persisted: ”love bombing” her with grand gestures, flower bouquets, gift cards, you name it. He was determined to win her over. Finally, Selena gave in and let the relationship evolve into something romantic. How could she not, right? Here this man was devoting all his attention to her, making her the top priority in his life. But eventually, the dynamic started to shift.
He became increasingly interested in her business and her money, even going as far as to gaslight her into believing that her team didn’t have her best interests so she would let them all go. He was manipulative and emotionally abusive, and the situation eventually reached a breaking point where she found the courage to leave.
However, as it so often happens in toxic relationships, they got back together after he promised to change, isolating herself even further by moving to Florida with him. Then, one day when she finally received her long-awaited Green Card—a day that should have been joyful and full of celebration but instead was full of tears and anxiety—she decided it was over, packed her bags, and left—for good.
Today, Selena has been reflecting on her experience with coaches and healers, discovering how to make healthier choices, seeing where she gives her power away, and learning that life will keep giving you tests until you’ve learned your lessons. But most importantly, despite it all, Selena is still ready for love.
Having been through my own abusive relationship, I relate so much to Selena’s story and how disorienting it can feel to find ourselves in this kind of situation, despite being so savvy in other areas of our lives. She shows us the power and importance of sharing our stories—even when we look like we’re leading a life of glitz and glamour but falling apart on the inside. Our stories can change people’s lives and save people’s lives, and we release our shame and pain when we give it a voice and realize we’re not alone.
If you liked this episode, be sure to check out…
- Selena’s website at https://www.selenasoo.com/ and find her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/selena_soo/
- Read her article, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, even as a smart and successful woman, here https://selenasoo.medium.com/i-was-in-an-emotionally-abusive-relationship-even-as-a-smart-and-successful-woman-8804ffe58cc9
- More about healing from abusive relationships from my divorce
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-it-means-to-be-brave/id1608226580?i=1000551021321 - How to know when a relationship is toxic and when to end it with Amber Valdez
Before you go, I wanted to make sure that you know about The Brave Table Mother’s Day Giveaway happening until May 16. Enter to win the GRAND PRIZE of a $200 VISA gift card to treat yourself to some pampering or one of our spa prize packs (valued at $50 each)!
Even if you’re not a mama, you’re welcome to enter anyway! All you need to do is leave The Brave Table a review, take a screenshot of your review, and then upload it at www.thebravetable.com/giveaway.
Good luck to everyone and thanks for being here. See you next time!
